Why I can't take Twilight seriously

Ok. I realize my posts have become increasingly Andy Rooney-like & crotchety. It's only a matter of time before I start my blogs with "Didya ever wonder why....", so trust me, this will not be one of those hating on Twilight posts.

I tried to read it. Really. Despite my husband selling me out to our friend who let me borrow the book by telling her "She leafed through it but since there were no pictures, she lost interest." (Half true, I'm afraid...I'll explain later*), I really did try. I knew at least 2 people who got sucked in to these books, I wanted to like it.

Now, besides the fact that when I borrowed the book, I hardly had any free time to read it--being a new mom can be tough-- I think a combination of things led me to dismiss it before I even had the book in my hands:

1) I'm over 25.

If you love it, and you're over this magic age, more power to you. We all have our thing, and if this is yours, enjoy it to its fullest.

2) When I first heard about this whole craze, I had a different picture of who the leading man would be in my mind. and it was never....hmm. whoever plays Edward. wait, is it Edward? The pale one with big hair that loves the equally pale girl. Sure, I could research this doing a simple google search, but I'm not writing an article for the AP. hmph.

3) I've seen my fair share of vampire movies, granted most have been seen through the cracks of my fingers. I know this series of stories are geared towards the teenage/young adult sect so they can't be as gory as their predecessors, but as vampire movies go, it seems like the High School Musical equivalent, sans the singing... and replace bubbly, tanned teens with brooding, emo teens. I can't help but roll my eyes

4) the hype killed it. just killed it. sometimes I can look past it and love something thats even cheesy and corny (for example, as noted in #3, i actually like High School Musical. oh that's right, I said it. why?? see #1) but when I saw that there were riots in mall bookstores, i just couldnt get past it. and I'm not one to automatically dislike all things popular.

and most importantly, #5):

It had everything: an ass kicking grandpa, the dude from Overboard as the head Vampire (oh please, if that spoiled anything for you, then you deserve a hit from a knitting needle. seriously, you should have already seen this movie.), BOTH Coreys in their heyday, the dude from Bill & Ted, a greased up saxophone player/singer, and a glorious, young Kiefer.

*How could I possibly have any patience for a book that had nothing to draw me in like The Lost Boys did?

"But what about the new movie, New Moon?" You may ask. "Why don't you give that a try and maybe you'll get interested?"

Sigh. Really?

Are you really gonna make me do this?:

case closed.